The Art of Being Unbothered: How to Care a Little Less
Do what you want, who gives a f*ck
What does being unbothered even mean?
Let me tell you about yourself for a minute. You’re an ugly bitch. You know no one likes you, right? You’re a fake ass friend, and you’re also an imbecile trying to pose as college-educated. You’re broke reading this random article on the internet instead of working. Are you triggered yet? Good, keep reading.
Allow me to take you on the journey of two people. Let’s just call them Person A and Person B. Someone said all of those things to both people.
Person A always worked hard in the mornings to get the perfect outfit for their best look. Because when you look good, you feel good right? They had their legacy of becoming the first college grad in their family, and getting their dream job as an investment banker. Their friends always talked about how lucky and successful they were, and Person A always talked about the intricacies of investment banking. Details that never made much since to Person A’s friends, but Person A always talked about them nonetheless.
Now, Person B was kind of a hippy. They rolled out of bed close to noon with their same pants and shirt they wore the day before. Person B played with their dogs and took them for a walk. They dropped out of college because it couldn’t “teach them art.” Person B was a loner, and did freelance photography.
The funny thing is, Person A and B both have similar upbringings: middle class two-parent family with a public school education. They had money and a plethora of activities growing up. There weren’t many differences between the two until they entered college. One stayed, and one left.
What’s worse, is the person saying all of these rude things to Person A were their friends. Person A defended themselves profusely. They claimed that none of that was true. “I’m prestigious, and I look damn good everyday,” Person A exclaimed. “I’m wealthy, and I’m setting my children up for generational wealth. Why do y’all have to be so negative? I’ve done too much for any of you to talk to me like that.”
Person B happened to overhear their conversation, and walked over. “You are an idiot,” Person B chimed in.
“And you’re a bum,” Person A said.
Person B laughed in Person A’s face, and walked away.
The gag was that only one of these people were living paycheck to paycheck in a job where they weren’t sure how they’d advance, and another with a plethora of job opportunities and a high wage upwards to $250/hour. One of them was existing, while the other was following their biggest dreams and ambitions. One stayed up all night working, while the other ate a nice dinner after work and hung out with friends at the bar.
Person B turned around, finally, and then said, “I sure the fuck am.”
Who Really Had it All?
What Person A didn’t realize is that even if they had everything they thought they wanted, they weren’t living on their terms. Person B woke up every morning and made a choice to follow their passion of photography, and made bank while doing it on their terms while Person A dreaded the morning traffic for yet another long day at work at their 9-5. It was Person B who put in real hours to do what they wanted uninhibited while Person A hid behind the comfort of a stable work life. But hey, your friends admire you right? Your parents are proud, right? You have bragging rights on social media and will get all the likes… right?
It’s the moments when you drop your dumb ass friends that you keep around to validate you that you see yourself for who you really are. It’s in the moments when you leave social media alone the first and last few hours of the day (or the whole day), and meditate on what you need. What makes you feel good in the moment will not leave you full. When you’re full, you’re satisfied. And when you’re satisfied, you’re unbothered. Nothing or no one can touch you.
So WHAT if you were all of the things I said in the first paragraph – or worse – a bum. Who gives a fuck? Be the biggest version of yourself. Laugh louder, dare to do something you’re afraid of, brag about yourself to yourself and look in the mirror at your naked body and say “Damn, I look good.” That “shortcoming” allowed you to grow in an area you otherwise would’ve ignored. So what if you’re fat? Now, you know. Now you can be “fat” by giving yourself a cheat meal once a week instead of everyday. So what if you’re broke. Once you say “I’m broke”, you can go into what you need to do to get what you want.
Life is about perspective. The art of being unbothered is a mentality: a healthy mix between accountability and acceptance.
It’s not about being a freelancer or entrepreneur, either. If you want to be an investment banker, then do that, but do it because you actually want to, not because it’ll make you look successful. Being unbothered, ultimately, is about doing and saying whatever the hell you want.
And the whole irony is that Person A and Person B were the same person, with two different mindsets. One gave a fuck, and the other did not have a single fuck to give.
What type of person do you wanna be?
“I’m no longer going to shrink myself to make myself digestible. You can choke.”
More content like this here.
An AMAZING book that embodies this concept is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.
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