Essential and Simple Tips Black People Everywhere Can Use Forever

My Spiritual Conversation at the Local Hair Salon [in 2016] that Began My Journey to Becoming “Woke”

If you’re Black, these tips are all the things you wish someone told you sooner. 

I originally wrote this piece when I was 19 years old and starting to bud into a newfound sense of “wokeness.” 

These tips are very reflective of the state of mind I was growing into. Reflecting back to who I was when I wrote this, the fact that I was unaware of myself becoming aware is always ironic to me, considering I embody almost all of them now. Can you relate? Knowing things you didn’t know you knew? 

These tips are still very relevant and very much needed today. Take what you want, leave what you don’t. They seem so simple, and yet it rarely crosses our mind when we need them most. Navigating the world as an Black adult can be very disillusioning, but with these tips, I hope navigating your Blackness while discovering yourself throughout your life will become at least a little easier. 

The Conversation that Started It All [Article written in 2016]

I truly admire Oakland because the local businesses always give me something meaningful to look forward to. It just so happens that I needed a serious miracle on my hair and left with not only that, but a new perspective on my approach on [to] life as a young person. And it only cost me forty bucks. 

I was the only client and I established a sort of bond with my stylist. [It felt almost cathartic.] [Once] I mentioned I attended Howard University and [that I had just changed my major to film], we noticed we [had] quite a few [things in] common: passions, beliefs, and standpoints. The conversation took off from there. 

These tips are pieces of our conversation that literally left me in awe. Here I see one of my people owning their own salon, building a nonprofit for youth developing their lives, and just finished her Bachelors for Accounting. [At 19 – with little perception of the world outside of Oakland – this really compelled me to ask more questions about what it meant to succeed as a Black woman and matters and issues we’d all have to face in this lifetime. She was a literal powerhouse, and one of the few Black women I knew doing it for themselves. I hungered for that, and I still do.] 

One three hour encounter for my hair led to a life-changing epiphany.

Essential Tips for Black lLife

1. Knowledge is power –  You do not have to know everything to better yourself. Read books, watch movies, ask questions, go to a museum, explore. The more stuff you know, the better you can articulate what’s actually going on around you and yourself for that matter. 
2. Be persistent – There are a lot of forces in this world that will try to bring you down, but you need to shake it off and CLAP BACK. [It’s not fair to be Black in America, but do you want to sit up and compare all the chips you’re lacking compared to a privileged person or do you wanna stack your chips yourself and get to work? We all have some form of disadvantage in this world. It’s how you deal with it that counts. We can still fight for change in the world while changing ourselves. They’re not mutually exclusive.] 
3. Meditate – It not only brings you balance to yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually; it relieves stress. [This can be as simple as taking a deep breath and feeling the sensations in your body.] 
4. Find & understand your Dharma – Dharma in a nutshell is your purpose in life. What were you put on this earth to accomplish?
5. Focus on your goals religiously – You must absolutely fuel your passions in life. They will change and evolve but if you work hard toward something, you’ll get it. It’s not enough to say you want it if you’re not going to do anything about it. [More importantly, you always need a target, even if it’s constantly changing.] 
6. Be patient – Seriously, no matter what it is, whether it’s a relationship or your career or even yourself, phenomenal things take time and WORK. You’ll get there. [Faith breeds patience.] 
7. Set your standards and do not settle for less – This is more or less about relationships, but in life you have to know what you want and go for it. There is that one for everyone and you [should] work hard for that. 
8. Study melanin – It’s more than a Black and White thing, it’s a spiritual thing. Do research about this because it’s too much to paraphrase but it’s essential for your growth as a [Black] person.  
9. Read the Bible – Regardless if you’re religious or not, having God in your life will guarantee that you’ll always have unwavering support from someone. It’s establishing a foundation and understanding your spirituality on this Earth and that is essential. 
10. Law of attraction – “Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become your destiny.” You speak whatever you want into existence. 
11. You DO have a choice – Everyone has choices in life (excluding particular events). But in the scheme of things we choose the life we live, the people we become, the person we love for the rest of our life, and our impact. 
12. Embrace your Blackness – It is such an amazing thing being Black culturally, but there is still work to be done to better our quality of life. We can start by setting the groundwork for shifting our mentality of what it means to be Black [in the first place]. [So we can get to the point of not having anymore conversations of what it means to be “Black enough.”] 
13. Don’t fight fate – Everyone has a gift. It’s up to you to understand it because it’ll be the root to your happiness. 
14. Find something to believe in – “Those who stand by nothing will fall for anything.” 
15. Find yourself – Meaning understanding who you are, what you believe in, and your foundation as a person. [What are your values no matter what?] 
16. Listen to older people sometimes – Things have definitely changed, but we come across the same types of people [and situations], and older people have had that experience. I simply suggest having an open mind to their pearls of wisdom. [They have the most valuable resource on their side: time.]
17.  Distance yourself away from [unnecessary] negativity – Period. 
18. Make as many connections as possible – You need a network. 
19. Understand that you don’t have everything figured out, and that that’s okay
20. Believe in yourself 
21. Find yourself a mentor – You don’t have to talk to them everyday. You don’t even have to talk to them every week or month, but you do have to talk to them. They are great for helping to advance oneself and it is a very personal level of support regarding your life on all levels. [2021: Now having had a few mentors, this advice has me shook on how much I was able to grow because of them. Finding someone with the knowledge you don’t have accelerates your growth.] 
22. Keep in touch with your family, but understand who deserves all of you or [just] a part of you – “Feed negative others with a long spoon.” If they could potentially spill something on you, you can still deal with them, but from a distance. 
23. Be humble

The purpose of this [piece] is to evolve yourself [and] to grow. Always keep growing because the finish line is a façade and your life is your destiny. You must live it to the fullest. Mediocrity should never be an option for us. 

Looking Back in 2021 

I realize these tips have ingrained themselves in my life from simply writing them down and feeling its vibration. I would have never grown if I didn’t water myself for growth, even I couldn’t see what would grow out of it. And for that, I’m very grateful for my 19-year-old self, and for the woman I am today. Be grateful for yourself, because you might have all the answers you need within you. All you gotta do is find it. 

Bonus Tips [2021] 

24. Preparation is key – Stay ready so you never have to get ready. #PowerMovesOnly
25. Be just as confident as you are humble – People can feel your energy when you feel as if you don’t deserve to be in that space or don’t feel qualified enough, and they’ll treat you as such. Life is truly faking it until we make it. So fake away. 
26. It doesn’t take as much work as you think to follow your wildest dreams – Hard work pays off, but all work and no play is the start of a nasty cycle. The only thing on the other side of that is death, so work smarter, not harder. 
27. Just do it – & think about the details later.  
28. Outdo yourself – “Evolution is the angels.” To be better than you were yesterday, even by just a little bit, can be extremely fulfilling. 
29. Be Present – Don’t get lost in nostalgia, or the “good ole days.” Make your days good every second of every day today. 
30.  Don’t be afraid of the fact that you can be consistent, work your ass off, and still not be “good enough,” whether in your eyes or others – The fact remains: You’ll never know if you don’t try. You can always do something after, but you owe it to yourself to at least try. 

Best of luck on your journey through 2021 and beyond. To Black life, in all walks of this Earth. 

*[] around words means updates for 2021, and overall current commentary on a timeless piece.  

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Photography by Zakiya Moore